The Decider

"I hear the voices and I read the front page and I know the speculation," the president told reporters in the Rose Garden.

"But I'm the decider and I decide what's best. And what's best is for Don  Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense."

  - actual quote from you-know-who.
  
  "I'm the Decider"
 by Roddy McCorley

(channelling Dr. Suess)

  I'm the decider.
  I pick and I choose.
  I pick among whats.
  And choose among whos.
 
  And as I decide
  Each particular day,
  The things I decide on
  All turn out that way.
  
  I decided on Freedom For all of Iraq.
 And now that we have it,
 I'm not looking back.
 
 I decided on tax cuts
 That just help the wealthy.
 And Medicare changes

 That aren't really healthy.
  
  And parklands and wetlands
  Who needs all that stuff?
  I decided that none
  Would be more than enough!
  
  I decided that schools
  All in all are the best.
  The less that they teach
  And the more that they test.
  
  I decided those wages
  You need to get by,
  Are much better spent
  On some CEO guy.
  
  I decided your Wade
  Which was versing your Roe,
  Is terribly awful
  And just has to go.
 
  I decided that levees
  Are not really needed.
  Now when hurricanes come
  They can come unimpeded.
  
  That old Constitution?
  Well, I have decided-
  As "just goddam paper"
  It should be derided.
  
  I've decided gay marriage
  Is icky and weird.
  Above all other things,
  It's the one to be feared.
  
  And Cheney and Rummy
  And Condi all know
 That I'm the Decider -
 They tell me it's so.
  
  I'm the Decider
  So watch what you say,
  Or I may decide
  To have you whisked away.
 
 Or I'll tap your phones.
 Your e-mail I'll read.
 `cause I'm the Decider -
 Like Jesus decreed.
 
 Yes, I'm the Decider!
 The finest alive!
 And I'm nuking Iran
 Now watch this drive!

 

 

  Now that I think about it, Dr. Seuss  anticipated this administration pretty well when he wrote Yertle the Turtle...